Back at it!

The life of a writer can be complicated.

This thought rings through my head just about everyday. I have a wild imagination that is capable of engaging each and every one of my senses. I can see it, I can taste it, I can smell it, I am there. My only problem? Most of the time my wild fantasies occur from inside four walls in-front of a glaring computer screen in an office that's overflowing with deadlines.

As a dreamer who dresses up every morning to spend 9 hours of her day working for somebody else, I sometimes wonder how exactly did I get to Singapore and how will this episode help fashion me into the writer I know I can be. Honestly, there are days when I feel frustrated simply because every-time that thought rings through my head, I DON'T have an answer.

It seems like yesterday I was dealing with fire breathing Taiwanese teachers or searching for a new job amidst the smog ridden city of Jakarta. And yet here I am, where I've always dreamed I'd be, Singapore.

I have to say, I feel very lucky to be working and living on this tiny island that is LITERALLY vibrating with life. An amazing city full of vibrancy, Singapore is such a fine example of creativity with everything from the arts to the theatre, I would have to say that inspiration is bursting at the seams here. My only problem is that I was struggling to find it.

I've lived here now for 4 months and yesterday was my birthday and with birthdays comes a lot of reflecting. My mom actually said something interesting that got me thinking. She said, 'What is your ultimate goal?' I honestly had to stop and think about that for a moment, What do I want? Where do I see myself? It took me a while about that because with this job, I am most definatley working outside of my normal box.

Since I have been in Singapore I have been so wrapped up in work. I let it stress me out, exhaust me, frustrate me and make me moody. While I have always knew that, when I finally found an answer to my mom's question, that fact was magnified to a tee!

Work has been bleeding through my pores. And like a parasite that has been consuming me, I've been really letting it define who I am. I think that is why this last while I have been feeling lost and like I have been missing something, I've let something replace my own love, my own passion, my love of vocabulary and grammar, I was hurting!

So, here I am. The second day of my 27th year is coming to a close and I feel like a new person. I can't quite explain it but I think it has to do with the fact that I am choosing. Choosing to feel good, choosing to do what I've missed and what I love, writing.